Beats Without Angel
by ApocalypticFanfiction
Summary: When Kanade disappeared, Otonashi got his heart back. But something's missing... His heart's beating... But they're beats without angel. His life's been shattered, and only Naoi can pick up the pieces. Otanashi x Naoi.
1. Beats without Angel

"KANADE!" I shouted hopelessly into the empty sky. The lack of response and sudden loneliness left me pained. My mind aching for the girl I lost.

I fell on my knees and flailed my arms as if hoping to reclaim her from the sky... But she was gone... She just disappeared... Like she was never there in the first place...

I sat there for what must have been hours, just trying to get grips with what had happened. The tears just kept coming –tears that I knew were no longer in my control.

She was gone... Just like that. And now I'm never going to see her again...

My mind was clouded with thoughts of dread and deceit, when one sparked in my head; did people even remember what happened here after they move on..? The thought hit me harder then a rock, the match was ignited and now the thought wouldn't leave my mind. Would Kanade even remember me...? Would she be born like any other human being without the slightest recollection of what had happened between them? Would she fall in love with someone...?

I began to recompose myself and I slowly stood, forcing the thoughts aside. I tried to make myself think clearly, but the lack of realism was making it increasingly harder. It felt like... It wasn't actually happening. Once the pain wore off I just felt... numb. Everything suddenly seemed so surreal, like I'd wake up and it would just be a bad dream. I'd wake up... and Kanade would be there...

She would tell me that she loved me and I would hold her in a tight embrace. Then I'd tell her about my dream and we'd both laugh it off like a silly nightmare and she'd promise to never leave me...

But that wasn't reality... THIS was reality. This was real... and nothing I could ever do would change that.

I looked at my hands as if trying to prove they were real and that Kanade was in fact, gone.

_'What will I do now!?' _My mind screamed to me whilst I silently begged the sky for a non-existent answer. I then felt a warmth in my chest; a beat. _Of course. _Kanade had my heart... but now she's gone... and now my heart belongs to me again... But something was missing... My heart _is_ beating... But there's no Angel... My heart's missing Kanade. And for as long as she's gone, my heart won't be full.

Just beats without an Angel.

I clenched my hands that I was still staring at. I was now certain without a shadow of doubt she was gone... and I hated it.

There's no one left now, no one but me. I am alone. 'What _am _I going to do' I thought to myself darkly. I can't move on... Not now... My minds to empty to let me. And what of the people that come after me? Are they destined to move round in circles like the SSS did for so long? No. I can't let that happen. I have to stay, to help the people find peace!

But how can I do _that_!? Could I really force myself to help others? To get close to them and lose them like I did with all the others? Meeting and losing people until I becomes completely consumed by the loneliness and succumb to insanity?  
I can't do that! I won't! But... what other choice do I have?

I dropped my hands and looked to the sky "Is this what it's like, Kanade? Is this what it's like to be forced to live on in a world where your friends are gone?' I asked to the sky, knowing an answer would never come. The sky's so beautiful, it should make me happy but instead... I just feel sorrow...

I had really come to face it now... No matter what would happen, I was bound to a life of sacrifice. That was all life had ever been to me... Sacrifice. I sacrificed my childhood to help my sister, my adulthood to become a doctor... even my very life force to help the people on the train... And now I had no choice but to sacrifice everything to help people in the future pass on. After going through all that I thought at very least I would get something back from the world- Kanade, for whom I donated my heart. But no... I even had to sacrifice her. And what do I get in return? Yes, I got my heart back... but it was an empty heart; just beats without Angel.

"_Is this what you want God!?_" I thought bitterly to the sky. The sorrow that I had was now mixed with rage, which then turned to resentment... then despair.

"I'm all alone..." I said to the floor.

"_Otanashi...?_" I heard a voice say behind my back. My eyes widened. '_I know that voice...' _I turned around, sure that I was wrong, but... I was right... "Naoi..."How was this possible...? He passed on... I _saw _him pass on. But here he is, right before my eyes in the light of day. With the same dark green hair and piercing eyes. He gave me a worried yet comforting smile of admiration while I could only respond with a confused gaze.

I then noticed my eyes were still teary, which probably explained his worried expression. _This isn't real... He isn't here_. I tried to tell myself. Out of nowhere Naoi ran up to me and hugged me in a surprisingly strong but friendly hug. His hands wrapped around me gave me a warmth I longed for. And I was more then happy to accept this much needed company. But as happy as having a friend made me feel I couldn't shake the confusion.

When Naoi finally let go I put my hands on his shoulders, "How are you...?" I said sterner then I meant to, unable to finish the sentence. I then noticed something, Naoi looked just as confused as me. "_I-I-I... I don't know.." _He replied. I shook him slightly; desperate for anwsers. "But you dissapeared!" I exclaimed no longer thinking about my choice in words. "_I-I-I know... I mean I did! But..." _He looked down as if in deep thought, "_I came back..." _He finished.

"But why!?" I said so loudly it was almost a shout. Naoi put his hands on my arms which were still tightly holding onto his shoulders. I loosened my grip slightly when he looked me in the eye sympathetically. "_I... I think it's because you were sad... I'm not at peace if your not... and that brought me back..." _I blinked a couple of times. Could this be true? Was Naoi's love for a friend like me so strong that it could bring him _back _to the afterlife? And another thing, how did Naoi know how I felt whilst he wasn't even potentially here? "_I think it's because my mind abilities are getting... stronger." _He said and took his hands from my elbows and grabbed my wrists. It took me a moment to realise before I noticed something, I didn't say that out loud... "Wait, y-y-you..." I stuttered and Shouted at the same time." Naoi nodded, "_Yes Otanashi, I knew you were sad because... I could feel your pain. And that is what lead me here"_

I felt completely taken aback, Naoi had more then mind control powers _he was a telepathic. _Suddenly a wave of guilt washed over me and my arms flexed in Naoi's grip. "You mean to tell me... I'm the reason you're stuck here..." I said and looked down at the floor. I felt Naoi's grip on my wrist drop and I looked up to see what he was doing. He looked at me, more determined then ever. _"Yes. And I wouldn't have it any other way!" _He smiled at me, "_I want to stay here with you! To help guide souls and help them pass on!" _I was surprised with how resolute he sounded, his determination, his courage. What I did to earn his admiration, I'll never know.

"I-I...I can't" I said blankly and turned around so my back was facing Naoi. I didn't want him to know I was crying... I heard his voice soften as he spoke the next words _"It's what she would want..." _I clenched my fists. Every mention of her sent needles through my mind. "It doesn't matter, because I'm never going to see her again," I said coldly. Naoi put a hand on my shoulder softly, "_Even if she does completely forget you, you'll meet her again. Because you two are meant to be together. Because your bond is stronger then fate." _

I closed my eyes. Naoi's words echoed through my head, repeating themselves over and over. Easing the pain ever so slightly. "Do you... Do you really think so?" I asked and stared at his hand resting on my shoulder. "_Yes, I'm almost certain!" _

_Almost!? What the hell was that meant to mean!? _I thought to myself. "_You **will** meet again..." _Naoi started. I blinked a couple of times before remembering he could read my mind. "_But, on the odd chance you never do- on the slightest slither of a chance." _He added hastily "_It won't matter. Because you are Otanashi and I **know** that you **will** get past this, because you can get past anything! Because you are strong, stronger then I could ever be. Yes, it hurts now. But one day... The pain will stop." _ As Naoi spoke these words of encouragement I felt a bulk of hope build up inside me.

_Yes, _I _can _get through this. The same way I got through the loss of my sister... Maybe... _just maybe... _I can get through the loss of Kanade. _One day..._

I rose my head and gave a determined smile. For the first time since Kanade vanished, I wasn't confused. Everything seemed clearer now, the world presented itself in a new light. I no longer saw staying here as a curse, but an opportunity.

Naoi's hand dropped from my shoulder and he gave a proud smile, obviously taking my smile as a sign of acceptance. My determined smile... That was all he needed to know my response. I gave him a serious look "Are you sure? If you agree to stay here, then there's no going back." Naoi nodded immediately with the admiring smile he so often gives me. "_Yes! I will follow you to the grave if I have to! Besides, being god gets lonely sometimes! "_ I laughed slightly and poked him in the head. "So it's settled! You and I shall stay here, we'll help people find peace together!" I said as we banged our fists together to seal the deal. "_ I promise to **never **leave you Otanashi! Now... Can we go get some food..? I'm starving... Being obliterated really makes you hungry..." _He said fidgeting with his hands and feet like an idiot. I chuckled slightly. "Sure thing kiddo, you go ahead I'll join you in just a minute." I said to him. He looked up at me with a face of excitement. "_Okay! I promise to save a place for you!" _He said running off.

I smiled as I watched Naoi run off into the distance. Naoi, does our friendship really run so deep that you'd be there for me even _after _the afterlife? 'Hm,' I mumbled to myself. Oh Naoi, friends like you are hard to find...

I couldn't help but ponder a final question though, why didn't we both disappear jut now? I have my heart back, and thanks to Naoi I found peace. Doesn't that mean I should have passed on? And the only thing holding Naoi back was me, so shouldn't he have passed along when he saw I was happy? I thought about it for only a few moments before the answer struck me. I couldn't pass along because I didn't want to leave Naoi alone. And Naoi couldn't pass along because he didn't want to leave me alone... And more importantly, neither of us wanted to...

I turned around to grab the railing with both hands as I looked to the sky. Kanade was gone, and it hurt. But Naoi, was right; it wont hurt forever. I'll just have to trust in the hope we'll meet again. Like how I hope that one day I'll meet my sister...

But even if we do never meet again, I know that I'll always get by. Because that's what you would want me to do. Right Kanade? Maybe she gave my heart back as a way of telling me to survive without her. And maybe she was right... Maybe it was about time that I started living for myself.

And yes, it does hurt that I can't see her. And yes, until we meet again my heart will never be full. But I know I'll get by. Like I always have.

My Angel Beats may be missing it's Angel...

But it continues to beat...

So I promise to you Kanade...

I will continue...

For my heart still beats

It just beats with no Angel.

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**So there's my first fanfic, hope you enjoyed it! :) Criticism is welcome. I'll probably keep this a a one-shot but if you would like me to continue feel free to ask me. I made this for my good friend Sophie! (Hey Sophie!) I decided to use Naoi because it's her favourite character. **


	2. Hope In A Friend

**Author's note: So I've decided to continue this, (Thanks to MISSANTISOCIAL, MssCassandra, Euronymous and XD1411) Hope you enjoy!**

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I stood there for a few more moments saying my final goodbyes to the sky. I closed my eyes and smiled, I wasn't happy, not by a long shot. But I was content; I was content because I had hope. And at the moment, that was enough.

I still wouldn't go as far as to say I'd reached 'closure,' but I was damn sure I was getting there. I knew that this wouldn't be easy, and the worst was probably yet to come. But I could face that later, and when I do, I'll be ready.

But no matter what comes, Naoi will be with me all the way. I have hope in a friend, which is all I need. _Naoi. _Crap, I agreed to meet him.

I only stressed over the thought for a moment before simply shrugging, he's patient, I'm sure he wont mind me being a few minutes late. I walked down the stairs and into the school canteen. I looked around for a few moments before seeing Naoi on his own with his head intently looking at his food. I couldn't help but smile, I don't think I've ever seen someone this hungry before...

I ordered my Mapo Tofu as usual and started walking towards Naoi.

I had only been walking for a couple of seconds before he noticed me and started motioning for me to join him excitedly.

I smiled and sat opposite him. 'Hi, Otanashi!' He said. 'So urm... Are you okay?' Naoi seemed to be trying to pass this off as a casual question, but I could tell he was worried about me. It made me feel bad... but at the same time, (though I hated to admit it) I kinda loved the attention. Maybe it's because I've always been worrying about others, but it was nice to have someone worry about me.

'I just have a lot to deal with. But i'm fine, really!' I replied confidently and honestly. I had realised it would be useless to lie, he _could _read my mind after all. Naoi slightly smiled at me before returning his attention to his food. We spent the next few minutes eating in a comfortable silence, that is until Naoi saw what I was eating . 'Is that... Mapo Tofu...? How can you eat that stuff?' He asked me with an eyebrow raised.

A memory suddenly washed over me and there was nothing I could do to prevent a sad smile plastering itself on my face. 'It was Kanade's favourite...' I replied. Naoi looked at the floor guilty, 'I'm sorry, I didn't meant to-'

'It's okay.' I interrupted. 'I'm just... I'm just happy I got to know her, ya know?' He looked back up at me and smiled, 'Yeah, I know what you mean.' He said sympatheticaly. 'What does that mean?' I asked him quizzically. Naoi looked down at his bowl 'Well... I kinda liked someone, and I knew they didn't like me back, but, being friends with them was enough!' he said and smiled. I couldn't help but be curious on who he was talking about, he doesn't seem like the type to get close to girls easily. Though of course I was careful to hide my curiosity.

'So what's the plan?' I asked in attempt to change the conversation. 'Hmm...?' Naoi asked. 'I mean with the whole saving soul business? How do you suggest we do it? And how will we know the difference between the people who came here and the people who were always here?' Naoi looked down with his hand on his chin in deep thought for a few more moments before looking back at me. 'Well, finding them shouldn't be too hard. Monitering the school system is shockingly easy. I'll just wait until someone unexpectedly joins the school and we have our target! _How _we'll do it is a different matter though, I guess we'll just deal with that when the time comes.' I nodded, I've always wondered how he does that; One moment he's cute as a button and another he's serious enough to kill. I've met a lot of one dimensional people in my time, and Naoi's defiantly not one of them. He is indeed brilliantly complex, in a way that could almost be described as _divine. _Hell, maybe that whole 'I'm god' business isn't as far fetches as it seems.

I saw Naoi proudly smile to himself._ Shit, he read my mind again._

'Would you... Stop doing that...?' I asked a little agitated. He chuckled guilty and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. 'Sorry... Haven't quite figured out how to control it...' We ate for a few more moments in silence before Naoi made an uncomfortable groan. I raised my head with an eyebrow raised to see what was going on. Naoi took a couple of pills and drank some water. He saw my quizzical gaze and held his forehead. 'Urgh, it hurts like hell. I can just hear _everyone. _All these loud thoughts jumbled up in my head, it hurts like a bitch!'

I couldn't help but almost laugh at him saying 'bitch'. Naoi wasn't exactly the kind of person to use bad language, which makes it all the more amusing when he does. 'Wanna go somewhere quieter?' I asked him in which he painfully nodded. We got up to leave for the roof in silent agreement.

The weather was remarkably great that day. It was one of those days that you get in late summer; it was still warm, but the air was cool. And every so and then a gentle breeze would pass by. It was one of _those_ days, and I truly did love it. I smelt the air and grinned, the lingering smell of freshly mowed lawn had mixed with the frosty essence of early winter.

I stood leaning on the wall as I watched Naoi take in a deep breath of air and happily stretch his arms to his sides. He walked around the roof for a few minutes aimlessly, enjoying the peace and quiet. He did it in a way I could almost describe as... _graceful. _Yes, that's the word, _graceful. _

_'_Graceful am I?' He asked in a teasing tone. I mentally slapped myself. _Stop. Thinking. _

'I-...well-...urr-' I stuttered, unsure of my intentions.

He chuckled nervously, 'Sorry... I really need to learn how to control it, don't I..?' He said in a sweet and awkward tone. I couldn't help but feel a little part of me shatter from his kind hearted tone. I softened a little and smirked, 'It's okay, it's... actually kind of nice...' I admitted. Naoi in response looked relieved, almost like... he expected me to get _angry... _But I'd never be angry at him, he knew that... Right..?

'No, no, no!' He said quickly. 'I just... I mean... I-I know you'd never get angry with me... It's just... I'd gotten so used to people being angry with me. People used to yell at me all the time, half of the time I didn't even know why... I guess it's just instinct.' He played with his hands nervously and looked at the ground like he would burst into tears.

A burst of guilt ran through me and I cursed my mind. I was so busy thinking about my past I barely spared a thought about Naoi's. Maybe I should have shown more of an interest... I ran up to him and hugged him without a second thought. 'It's okay, you know I'll never be angry with you.' I said to him. To be truthful, I actually have a lot of trouble being comforting to people. But with Naoi, it just kind of came naturally. He buried his face in my chest and cried silently. I brushed my hand through his hair, _Christ, was his hair always this soft? _

'..Hey... Otanashi..?'His words suddenly brought me back to reality and I realized I was still holding him, though he didn't seem to complain, so I didn't move. 'Yeah?' I responded. 'Remember when you said you liked that I could read your mind, what did you mean?' He asked and we both slowly pulled away from each other.

I was slightly surprised he was still thinking about what I said... 'I meant... what I said.' I knew that answer wouldn't be enough, but I kind of wanted to avoid some kind of _heart to heart. _It wasn't that I didn't love talking to Naoi, but I wasn't really ready to have another emotional talk. Something else was making me feel slightly uncomfortable and confused too, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

'Yeah but... what does that mean..?' I looked at my feet deciding it was inevitable. 'I guess it's because now... I know someone can understand me. Someone can show me...' I paused thinking of the right word, '..sympathy...' I decided.

He smirked a little, 'empathy'

'Urr.. what?' I felt a little uplifted seeing his new found confidence.

'Empathy. The word's empathy.' He said and smiled, for himself this time. And I admit, the smile was infectious.

'Oh?' I asked with an eyebrow raised.

'Sympathy is acknowledging someone's troubles. Empathy is understanding' He said with a cocky grin on his face.

I must confess, I love it when he does this. It seems to piss most people, but me? I love it. I feel somewhat prideful for him when I see his proud look. I laughed a little, then he started to giggle. Before we knew it we were both laughing like a bunch of drunk nitwits.

We eventually started to calm down and sat next to each other smiling. I don't think either of us were sure about why it was so funny. Maybe we were both just missing the silliness from the old SSS. It was something I had always taken for granted while I was with them, It was only now I realised I missed it... They may have been dysfunctional, Idiotic and insane; but they sure new how to make me laugh. I looked to my right to see Naoi mesmerised by the clouds. _Though maybe I don't need them to make me laugh any more..._Naoi came out of his trance and started blushing. I was actually starting to enjoy him hearing my thoughts. It made me feel... important. I gave an amused look at Naoi's red face and messed his hair up with my hand. 'Time to go kiddo,' I announced getting up. I was stopped when Naoi grabbed my hand. 'Wait!' I stopped. 'Something on your mind?' I asked. Naoi smiled sweetly, 'I just... wanted to say thank you... for everything' I squeezed his small tender fingers and gave a reassuring smile, 'Well then... Thank you to you too.'

We slowly let go of each others hands and Naoi bolted for the exit. 'Beat you there!' I grinned and started running to the exit. 'Not if I beat you first!' I yelled after him.

Naoi, you gave me the hope I needed to continue, thank you. I realize I can never pay you back, but in return I will try to give you whatever hope I can. Naoi... I put all my hope in a friend.

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**So thanks for reading! Reviews are extremely appreciated, I'm open to hear ****criticism as I always look to improve! So I've decided to make this Otanashi x Naoi as no one seemed against it when I asked. I apologize if the quality has dropped as I'm not very good at writing about gay relationships. :)**


	3. Existence Of Fallacies

It's strange to think it's been a week... It felt like it was just an hour ago that I lost Kanade, but at the same time so much had happened that I would have sworn it was a year ago... It was almost like an eternity had passed, but in a world with no time. Though then again... Maybe that's true.

Time doesn't pass here, not for us anyway. We _can't _expire or die; the only world in which that's possible is a world without time. Which begs the question, does time even exist here at all? But then again, this is applying normal a logic to a world completely abnormal. Hell, according to Earth logic this whole _place _shouldn't exist... and maybe it doesn't. Who's to say anything really exists.

Though in the end, it doesn't matter if it's real or not. I am here. That is something I'm sure of, so if it's a dream or reality, real or not, we must keep fighting. And maybe it isn't real, but when you're fighting for what you believe in, it doesn't matter.

I know, stupid right? I always have been quite a deep thinker, probably too deep for my own good, but I can't seem to stop. Every night when I lie down my head becomes clouded with doubt, every fibre of my body trying to explain each and every fallacy that surrounds me. The doubt… these fallacies of broken logic lying in shards signifying nothing! I try and push the thoughts aside, but it's too late, the match is ignited and my mind's been lit.

It's consumed me.

There's so many fallacies in logic that it's gotten to the extent were the existence of fallacies is all I believe in. Everything I believed in was shattered when I came here, everything I thought I knew was proven wrong; a fallacy... A fallacy like Angel. For the SSS, Angel was our fallacy. We spent so long thinking she was the antagonist... I just wish I'd figured out the truth sooner.

"Otanashi? Are you even listening to me!?" I snapped out of my thoughts unaware of my surroundings. "Huh? Oh... Sorry... Could you explain that to me again?" Naoi sighed irritably, "It's okay, I'll start from the beginning..."

We were working in the SSS headquarters as we usually do, or to be more specific _he _worked. I just sat here. I've never been good at going through files, I never really have been. Ask me to stitch someone up; easy! But ask me to go through some paperwork and... well that's a different issue. In the end we came to a silent agreement that he'd do the paper work, I'd do the practical. In other words; He finds the souls, I help them pass on. We haven't actually seen anyone yet though, so that leaves me with absolutely nothing to do.

It turns out he's actually a major workaholic, which I guess he always has been. Though I never seemed to notice before for some reason... I guess that's just another one of my many fallacies. He'd be up until midnight shuffling around with papers. He'd become... _obsessed. _I couldn't help but feel kind of bad. Naoi was _always _working, and I didn't even know _what_ to do. Not to mention my chronic daydreaming which I seem to be doing more often than not nowadays. He doesn't seem to mind too much though, he always did have a lot of patience for me... A patience I don't know if I deserve...

Over the past week Naoi finally learned how to control his mind reading abilities, after which he hastily promised to never read my mind again. I honestly didn't care though, I'd gotten used to him reading my mind, but he insisted saying that reading my mind would show disloyalty. I guess he wanted to prove he trusted me.

As for me, having my heart back's began causing... complications. I've started having agonising chest pains, and every so and then my heart just seems to... Stop, and go cold. I haven't told Naoi though, I'm scared he'll worry, which he _defiantly _doesn't need. It's not that I don't want to tell him, but I've already put him through so much, this is something I'll just have to face on my own. Not that it matters, it's not like it's anything serious... right...?

"Okay, got it?" Naoi asked when he finally finished. "Yeah, I think so," I replied hesitantly. Admittedly, I couldn't understand most of what he was saying; too many technical terms. But from what I could gather nothing interesting was happening.

Without even a second thought Naoi's head was back down on his scattered papers. I couldn't help but worry about him, this amount of stress _can't _be healthy. But I never felt comfortable asking, so I didn't.

Whist Naoi was thoroughly cross-checking the system, I found myself once again indulged in my thoughts. Whilst I pondered my thoughts I realised how quiet everything was, I guess it's because I spent so long trying to adapt to how noisy SSS was that I'd forgotten what silence felt like. SSS was by all means a flawed group, but one thing they could always do without fail was cause a commotion. And hell, I missed it!

It was times like this that I really started to miss them, when I realise their petty quarrels and bashful comments are gone. The little things that I took for granted.

"I miss them…" I muttered quietly in a barely audible voice.

Naoi raised his head with an eyebrow raised, "Sorry, what did you say?"

I shook my head, bringing Naoi down would probably be a bad idea. "It's nothing…" I replied. Naoi scowled, even without his mind reading abilities he can tell when something's up. "I just… I miss them…" I said, finally giving in.

Naoi gave me a comforting yet sad look. "Do youmiss them?" I asked him softly, though inside I knew it was a bad idea to ask… Naoi put the papers down and stared at the floor guiltily. It was then I realised that I pulled a string, and the events to come were set in motion.

"No. I don't." I blinked a couple of times, this _really _wasn't the response I was expecting. Naoi started shuffling his feet in self-loathing, I knew that he didn't _want _to feel this way. I softened my gaze, but I couldn't shake the curiosity. I wasn't entirely sure what to do, I _wanted _to comfort him, but I didn't know how. Luckily Naoi noticed this, and thankfully he didn't leave me hanging.

"It's just… Well, you won't like me for saying this, but I didn't really like any of them. They never respected me, none of them even tried to be nice to me. They just laughed at me…" I was aghast, I never knew this was how Naoi felt. I mentally slapped myself, of _course _Naoi felt like this. How'd I not notice sooner? Naoi was always pushed around, always labelled as nothing more than a sense of comic relief. All he ever wanted was acceptance, even before SSS, in his first life. He never seemed to care though, perhaps that's why I didn't notice… Maybe I should have looked closer. I extended a hand and laid it on Naoi's arm gently. I felt gushes of guilt run through me when I realised he was on the brink of tears. I ran my hand up and down his arm in attempt to comfort him.

Naoi was trying to prevent the tears from falling, but they were no longer in his control. With tears rolling down his cheek he started stuttering, "I-I-I'm… s-sorry… I d-don't …. I mean… I-I-I _want _to like them… I just-"

"It's okay," I interrupted. I didn't want to put him through any more pain and hastily pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry, I should have noticed sooner. I should have _done _something, but I didn't." Naoi's face was now covered in tears, which he had given up trying to hold back. I cradled him in my arms, once again stuck in my thoughts. I had always seen Kanade as the SSS's fallacy, I thought it was _her_ we misperceived. I had never put much thought in the idea that it was Naoi we also misperceived, but maybe _that _was our real fallacy. Believing that Naoi was really _okay _with people laughing at him. Then again, maybe that's just what we wanted to believe. We should have known better, _I _should have known better…All Naoi ever wanted was a sense of acceptance and equality. A sense I never gave him…

A familiar sharp pain rippled to my heart and a cold feeling washed over me. Except this time it was much worse than before. I pushed Naoi away and fell to my knees clutching my chest as I let out an agonised groan.

"Otanashi!" He shouted and crouched down to me. "What's wrong!?" He said shaking me by my shoulders. I slowly felt the coldness slip away and with that I felt my ability to breathe began to return. I gradually brought my breathing back to a normal pace and swallowed deeply. I had tried so hard to keep it from him, _so _hard. It doesn't seem fair, he's already helped me in so many ways, he shouldn't be forced to deal with my burdens on top of everything else. Once I was in control of myself again I raised my head to see Naoi with a terrified, concerned yet ultimately confused look on his face. "W-w-what just happened…?" He asked, though I could sense a little part of him was too terrified to know.

Lying seemed futile at this point, he was too good at figuring out when something was wrong and I was a terrible liar. "It's nothing, I've been getting chest pains. That's all." I tried to pass it off as casual statement, but I guess he knows me too well.

"Chest pains? Does that happen a lot?" He asked me, a little _too _worriedly for my taste. "Well, yeah. But it's nothing big-"

"Otanashi! This is serious! Are you forgetting that you _just _got your heart back!?" I was shocked beyond belief, I've never seen Naoi so serious and- dare I say- angry. "I-I-I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry you..." I stuttered back. "But don't you get it? I LIKE worrying about you, it makes me feel important! Do you know what that means to me? The feeling of importance that I haven't had in my _entire _life!? It means EVERYTHING to me!" I blinked a couple of times, I felt practically spellbound. "Naoi…. I'm so sorry, I had no idea you felt this way…"

Naoi softened up and smiled sweetly and held out a hand to me, "it's okay, we can face whatever's going on later. Just… promise me you won't hide anything else from me, okay?"

The comfort Naoi offered me sent _vibes _through my body. A vibe I couldn't explain… Kind of like a warm flutter in my chest. I couldn't quite tell what it was… Though I'll face that later, along with everything else I need to deal with.

I smiled and shook his hand, "Okay then, I promise."

Indeed, we can't prove _anything _exists. The promises we make, the secrets we keep, the friends we make and memories we hold… who's to say any of them exist.

But whether they exist or not has no relevance. For as long as I have control over me, I'll live how I want. I confess, I may _not _have control of myself forever. One day my life may lie in the hands of my friends, family or even foe, but until then, I belong to me.

So yes, we _can't _prove anything exists. And I'm still in a place where fallacies are all I believe in, fallacies like Naoi…

The only thing I can do now is hope, and then maybe there _will _be a world outside the existence of fallacies.

* * *

**So here it is, Chapter 3... Sorry if the quality isn't good, I wrote the chapter, then had to re-write it when my computer froze. I don't think it came out half as good as it was first time round. I want to also apologize for the delay. Thankyou for reading, please review, Criticism is totally welcome:)**

**By the way I'm considering writing a Final Fantasy XIII and Bleach fanfiction. If you show interest, please tell me.**


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